Attempted murder and Levis: Variations on a Theme

Levis

hand injury

empowered

30 years ago, I was asked to make a commercial for Levis featuring a strong empowered female character, which went on to win multiple international advertising awards. This is my favourite still from the work, which can be viewed here: https://vimeo.com/43307030

It Started with a Murder

Then my life irrevocably changed. In late February 1996 I was due to fly to San Francisco to present my Levis storyboard to the ad agency and clients, but on 13 February, around a week before my flight, my ex-husband subjected me to a terrifying, sustained assault. To this day, I believe the only reason I survived this experience was because, when I looked into his eyes while he was strangling me and screaming “I hate you/I hate you/I am going to kill you,” I decided I had had enough. I was ready to die. I thought to myself: “Father into thy hands I commend my spirit,” and strangely and immediately I sensed a force that seemed to suck all the evil out of the room. My ex-husband’s face changed from monstrous to normal, like some weird CGI sequence, and he stopped trying to murder me. In retrospect I think what happened was the fear left my eyes, and he realised he no longer had power over me, but at the time, I truly believed something had intervened to save me.

I was later hospitalised due to my injuries (he had broken 5 of my ribs, and one punctured my lung, which then collapsed). My lung injury meant that I wasn’t allowed to fly to San Francisco, and I was so worried about my clients knowing what had happened and thinking I might be unreliable, I told them I’d been mugged by a stranger, i.e. “sorry I can’t present you the storyboard in person, but don’t worry, I’m fine.”

Then I poured all my energy and emotion into this commercial, whose central character represents a strong, all conquering, survivor.  I hoped I was that person, but sadly one year later I developed task-specific dystonia, the overwork-related hand injury that stopped me being able to draw or animate and thus ended my career.

 PhD and book

As part of my recent PhD “Bearing Witness: Autoethnographic Animation and the Metabolism of Trauma,” I’ve made a film about my attempted murder and how I have used animation to process trauma, both historically and recently. I’m expanding on this in my Routledge book commission. My film, It Started with a Murder, can be viewed here: https://vimeo.com/56994915

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“There is but one reality and that is the truth and each of us are aspects of it — like facets of a gem. As filmmakers and artists, all we can hope to do is to be as true to ourselves as we are able, and in so doing find a resonance with others — like the refraction of light in a well-cut diamond. Only a facet that is truthfully defined can hope to reflect light inwards. The only thing that matters is the truth. Be true to oneself.”

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Levis

hand injury

empowered

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